How can behaviors interfere with energy levels and vitality?

How Your Beliefs Can Help or Hinder You

Hello, dear ones! Many people come to my office complaining of a lack of enthusiasm and energy, feeling emotionally suffocated or heavy, sometimes even with a lot of body pain or drained of energy. This can be a general feeling when they experience these sensations throughout much of the day and in all environments, or in some cases, when it occurs in a particular place, event, or relationship.

These symptoms may be associated with how we perform our functions, how we position ourselves in life, perceive reality, and behave. Therefore, I've decided to talk a little about some factors that can contribute to this energy drain and how we can shield ourselves from them. It's important to remember that depending on the intensity and duration of this feeling, it could be related to a syndrome or illness, hence the importance of seeking a professional to check the causes and provide appropriate treatment.

When a person takes on roles that are not theirs, it disrupts the entire system, i.e., everyone around them who is impacted by their actions. They end up having to deal with problems and situations of another person, thus, taking on something from someone else and assuming it as their own, which leads to an overload, as well as resulting in friction, disputes, and relationship issues with the person to whom the respective role truly belongs and with others involved.

Similarly, when one fails to assume their own roles and fulfill the functions that belong to them, dealing with the consequences of this imbalance also drains energy. If I can't handle what's mine and transfer it to someone else, that person ends up doing it but will be dissatisfied and unconsciously charge a price for it, whether feeling wronged, complaining, or demanding. I always say that everything in life has its price, and what doesn't have a price costs a lot; sometimes it seems difficult to solve our problems, but it costs more not to solve them or delegate them to someone else.

Another way to lose energy is to repeat ineffective patterns from our parents, i.e., when we end up doing the same thing we criticized in our parents. Lessons we could have learned from their life experiences but when I judge and criticize, it means I don't understand and don't accept, thus, I end up unconsciously reproducing, seeking and experiencing the same situations.

Also, when tolerating what you don't like to gain attention or not to displease others, going against your values and contradicting yourself, your truths, and beliefs, commonly referred to as "swallowing frogs". Here I'm not referring to the inability to handle differences or frustrations, or demanding that everything be your way, which is a tantrum of our spoiled inner child. I'm referring to accepting situations that go against your values and principles to meet others' expectations, denying yourself to be who others expect you to be.

Not setting boundaries in your relationships and your space and letting anyone invade your routine, your home, interfere in your relationships, without even being asked to do so. When we become hostages to the desires of others, we stop preserving and caring for what is important and sacred, and this harms internal organization, the quality of relationships, and brings unnecessary wear and tear.

Victimhood and neediness place us in a position of powerlessness and weakness, as by behaving as a victim or needy, a person adopts a posture of accepting everything that comes and lets others control their life, perceiving themselves as dependent on them and unable to change the situation, submitting to it. Along the same lines of thought and behavior, there are also self-neglect and unworthiness, when we stop caring for ourselves and meeting our own needs and when we believe we don't deserve something better.

Other factors that cause significant losses of vitality and energy, both physically and psychologically, and often depress our brains are guilt and lack of forgiveness. When someone blames themselves for something they did, can't forgive themselves, or learn from the mistake, they keep underestimating and devaluing themselves in an endless cycle of suffering and destructive thoughts. Not forgiving others and mentally dwelling on what happened and being unable to accept it also consumes a lot of energy, in addition to bringing feelings that sap vitality such as sadness, outrage, and anger.

Knowing what we should avoid, we can focus on ways to preserve and elevate the energy level, as listed below. Know yourself and respect your limits, be truthful and act in a way that is consistent with your values; be whole with all your roles; move forward and assume what is yours, letting go of habits, thoughts, feelings, places, and people that harm you; take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health and surround yourself with equally healthy people; seek to be at peace and in tune with yourself; always activate a state of gratitude; have life plans and projects and act accordingly to realize them.

So, how much of your thoughts, actions, and feelings are facilitating or hindering your loss of vitality and energy? How much of your time do you invest in caring for your physical, mental, and emotional energy?